In a move that has left linguists, politicians, and comedians scrambling, President Donald J. Trump has signed an executive order making it illegal to say the word “orange” unless referring to the fruit.
Standing before a crowd of supporters at Mar-a-Lago, Trump declared:
“I’ve had enough of it, folks. And frankly, so has America! The orange is a beautiful fruit—delicious, juicy, perfect. But for too long, people have been using it in a very nasty way, a very unfair way. And we’re stopping it. Today. No more!”
The Details of the Ban
The executive order, titled the “Citrus Integrity and Verbal Purity Act,” officially outlaws the use of “orange” as:
- An adjective, noun, or insult not related to the fruit
- A description of any person, place, or thing outside of produce sections and juice labels
Violators of the order face a fine of up to $10,000, with repeat offenders subject to “mandatory re-education in a Florida orange grove.”
“You can talk about orange juice. You can say, ‘Hey, I love this Florida orange,’ because Florida oranges are tremendous,” Trump clarified. “But when you use it in other ways, in very mean ways, we all know what you’re doing. And it stops today!”
Immediate Reactions
- Democrats are in shock. Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer called the move “a blatant attack on free speech and a sign of an increasingly bizarre presidency.”
- Elon Musk posted on X: “Banning words? I dunno, kinda based tbh. But also, I like chaos, so let’s see how this plays out.”
- Florida Governor Ron DeSantis reluctantly supported the order, saying, “Look, we love oranges down here. So I guess it makes sense?”
- Comedians and late-night hosts have been left scrambling as they realize nearly half their Trump jokes are now illegal.
Enforcement Begins Immediately
Federal agents—dubbed the “Citrus Police”—will begin monitoring social media, news broadcasts, and public statements for violations. The White House has launched a new hotline for citizens to report offenders, urging Americans to “do their part to protect the dignity of the orange.”
The Future of the Color Orange
One major question remains: What about the color?
Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt addressed this concern, stating:
“The President is still reviewing whether the color will be renamed. Some options being discussed are ‘Trump Gold,’ ‘Sunshine Hue,’ and ‘Big Beautiful Tangerine.’ A decision will be announced soon.”
What’s Next?
While some critics argue that the order will face immediate legal challenges, Trump’s supporters are embracing the change, with MAGA-themed citrus products flying off the shelves.
For now, America must adapt to a world where the only “orange” allowed is the one you can peel.
That is crazy! Wow